Home Is What You Make It
Photo by Kay Kurkierewicz, FCRH '20
Like most college freshmen, when I arrived on campus, I harbored dreams of finding community and purpose. I’d moved across the country from the suburbs of Southern California, and, now, New York confronted me with an entirely new way of life. In the beginning, that could be scary and overwhelming. Sometimes I felt purposeless and alone.
Yet, as I became more involved on campus and in my departments, I began to connect with and care about the communities I found there. Now, as we grapple with a very different scary and overwhelming moment, I can’t help but be grateful for the communities that continue to sustain me.
During my time at Fordham, I’ve learned that community is built. Being part of a community is an active endeavor, calling you to volunteer your time and effort, to check in with others and work to make things better. Without this commitment, a community won’t feel like a home, but a hotel, sterile and temporary, somewhere you pass through instead of something you invest in.
This means that community takes work. I’ll admit that there were days I didn’t want to expend that effort. There are a million excuses for why you shouldn’t go to that meeting, shouldn’t hop on that Zoom link — I’m tired. I’ve got other stuff to do. No one will miss me anyway.
As insistent as those concerns might feel, there’s one realization that’s pushed me past my comfort zone time and time again: the understanding that I never know what I’ll learn, who I’ll meet, what I’ll gain from leaning into our community. Sometimes you’ll make a new connection, or learn about an amazing opportunity, or hear a piece of wisdom that stays with you for years. Sometimes it might feel like you’ve gained nothing. Yet time invested in your community is never wasted.
As an event organizer on campus, I’ve hosted and helped to host events that were highly-attended and poorly-attended, well-funded and unfunded. Yet the most meaningful and successful events were not so because of a headcount or a budget, but rather because of the energy and openness that participants brought to our gathering.
In April, a fellow creative writing concentrator and I hosted a virtual Creative Writing Marathon, open to the Fordham English community. We began with introductions, inviting students to share a word about how they were feeling. We heard “tired,” “stressed,” “anxious.” We then devoted the next two hours to writing, offering creative prompts and sharing our work at regular intervals. By the end, when we asked the group to again share their state of mind, the dominant sentiments were “collected,” “calm,” and “accomplished.” Such a transformation speaks to the power of the community to uplift those who show up and engage with it.
In the midst of what can be an isolating experience, our English department community is thriving on the Mighty Networks platform. In the last few weeks, we’ve seen award-winning writers, accomplished publishing professionals, and wise seniors take the screen to share words of advice and encouragement. Students and faculty post questions, exchange resources, and share their experiences as writers and readers in the feed. So if you feel the isolation threatening to drag you deeper into despair, remember that the Fordham English community is here to support you.
As a senior, these last few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions. One of the brightest spots was last week’s virtual Spring Soirée for the creative writing concentration, as well as its afterparty — on Club Penguin, of all places. A few of the senior creative writing concentrators waddled around a classmate’s igloo, chatting and joking and throwing snowballs. In stark contrast to the sadness and frustration that had been my default emotions in this difficult final week of classes, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude at this cheerful communion. After all we had been through together in the last semester, we could now gather to talk and laugh and commiserate. Being able to come together as a community made for a comforting, encouraging, and even joyful ending to the year.
Don’t be afraid to lean into our community, to give of yourself and receive in turn. The English and creative writing community has been a home for me. If you want it to be, it can be home for you, too.
Hannah Gonzalez has worked as Fordham's Creative Writing Program Assistant for the last two years. She graduates in May 2020 with a double major in history and English with a creative writing concentration. This summer, she will work in a law firm as an SEO Fellow, and in the fall, she matriculates as a student at Stanford Law School. Learn more about her work portfolio at her website, hannahgonzalez.com.