ISSUE NO. 3 • GOOD-BYE TO ALL THAT
Written for those who have ever feel like they need to run away.
When I’m sad I eat Godiva Chocolate. Milk chocolate filled with caramel, marshmallow, or raspberry. My Grandmother always said to “eat something sweet” when you feel as if you have failed, so if it’s not chocolate, I eat cashew milk ice cream and blueberries. If that does not soothe I turn to Mallomars, Grandfather’s favorite, stuff my face with cannoli, tartufo, tiramisu and yes, this would finally fulfill for a bit, she was right.
After a while though, the same feeling of defeat would creep over me bit by bit until I was trapped. The older I become the more failures I seem to accidentally summon, something that a fix of sweet cannot pacify. And what about the days that I fail others? Promise something that I never actually complete, pick a job they would not have chosen for me, and wrote a piece that could be better, longer, clearer. I wish I could ask my grandmother now if these times also warrant for something sweet.
Recently I picked up a box of chocolate- I was planning to lock myself in my room for the day which is an action that I truly believe keeps me sane. But this particular time, I was attempting to run away, lock the door from the aspirations of others and keep the room dark to not light up my mistakes. There was no one here to blame for trying to escape except myself and I understood that nothing will change here until I flick on the lights showing all of my mess and pick up each mistake one at a time.